Enough is enough....

     Do you think a rapist would be a rapist if they really cared about the law? Regardless of a person's stand point on this bathroom propaganda, some where out there countless women AND men AND children are going to be exploited by a sexual predator, and those victims don't have to be in just a bathroom to be violated. Pretty soon this bathroom business is going to just be old news and no one would have discussed the real issue.

     That there are thousands upon thousands of victims that are not being heard because topics like this one only overshadow the actual problem. Everyone can voice their opinion on this transgender topic as is their right to do. But doesn't anyone realize that some of the people who struggle with their gender identity may have been abused themselves at some point in their life?

     Maybe instead of pointing your judgmental fingers at them you should talk to them and maybe understand where they are coming from and get to know them as a human being instead of automatically labeling them as rapist or peepers just because they need to go potty. You know when the appropriate time is to label those people? If you actually catch them doing something wrong!

     What gives me any right to say any of this? What's my experience with this issue??

Here's where I am coming from:

     I was sexually molested by my own father in my own home from the time I was 9 to the time I finally told someone when I was 14. Was I in a public restroom at Target? No. Was I being peeped on by a transperson using a female restroom? No. I, Shari Scarlett Lazar McHoes, was sexually violated by my father in the very place where I was supposed to be the safest.

     Am I ashamed to admit this? My answer is; FUCK NO. It was never my fault, and as a 9 year old I had never done anything to deserve what happened to me. Let me tell you one thing though... After my father was incarcerated and I started to grow into a curious teenager, I DID struggle with my sexuality at one point, but I chose to be straight. At this point in my rant let me clarify that I am speaking purely from my own experience and this doesn't apply to everyone, but if you can relate, please, PLEASE speak up and let us discuss a real issue.

     There are so many victims out there who are ashamed to speak up, yet here we all are arguing about who should use what bathroom. Who gives a crap, LITERALLY. Everyone has to defecate or urinate somewhere. So as long as it is in a toilet, port-a-potty, outhouse, or woods, no matter if you are male or female or in transition, I don't care.

     No matter what your gender is, if you peep on me, I'm going to confront you. If you're a rapist I'm going to put up a fight!

     Ladies and gentleman let's talk about the actual issues and not this bullshit propaganda. Let's educate ourselves and our kids on the subject that seems to be the main concern of most people complaining of this bathroom issue. Let's talk about sexual assault, and be there for those who need to be heard. I know this is a complicated topic, and most people don't feel comfortable talking about it... let's change that..

Rant over, let us discuss!

https://rainn.org/statistics

http://www.staralaska.com

‪#‎tellsomebody‬ ‪#‎sickofpropaganda‬ ‪#‎violencedoesntfixviolence‬‪#‎speakupforthosewhocant‬ ‪#‎educatethosewhodontunderstand‬‪#‎bearolemodel‬ ‪#‎realissues‬ ‪#‎standtogetheragainstrape‬ ‪#‎rapestatistics‬‪#‎iamnotafraid‬ ‪#‎ilovemyself‬ ‪#‎lovethyneighborasyourself‬

Mommy Talk 2: What Changed..

Hello there!

     When I first started my blog, I was a lot younger, therefore inexperienced in the ways of parenting, oh and also single. There have been so many changes since then, that I could probably have written a memoir of the last two years. I think it would make for an interesting read, but it would be too much of an emotional roller-coaster, and I don't know you that well! So here are some of the major updates on where I'm at right now in life...

1. My first born is almost two years old! (Wow how time flies.) His father and I are no longer together. We remain friends, and he is very involved in our sons life. That's all that matters.
2. Anyone who personally knows me, knows that I am married now. SURPRISE!! Introducing Mrs. McHoes! Oh and the joke is that my husband's family is descended from Irish Pimps. [[not really, but so funny]]
3. The husband and I are expecting! (Hurrah more baby craziness!) Our little bundle of joy is due soon, so I will be posting my second birthing experience some time after she arrives. 
4. After we found out we were expecting I decided to put my college education on hold for awhile. I am still working for Starbucks, but at this time I am on a Leave of Absence.

     Really that's all the important updates since my previous blogs. I probably won't go into a lot of details about everything that has transpired in the last two years, but I will definitely try to stay current on what I am doing. 

Keep an eye for my next blog. HINT: Cloth Diapers!

You know it's been a long, long time...

Hello!

     It has been a really long time since I posted ANYTHING on here. I am hoping to change that now. There have been a lot of changes in my life in the past year and a half, and I haven't done a very good job of recording any of my experiences as I had intended to do when I started this blog. The whole point of even starting this blog had been to connect with family and friends, and also to share my experiences with people around the world who could relate! So starting today, I hope that I may do that. Stay tuned. 

Oh Christmas Tree... How Lovely Thee Be!

Hello everyone!

     I'm glad to say that our Christmas Tree was finished last week! Brandon and I stayed up late to decorate it after Brayden went to sleep. Well actually, I ended up finishing it by myself because Brandon fell asleep on the couch after awhile. It was nice though, because I really felt good about the way the tree looked when I was done with it. I can't even remember the last time it looked this pretty!

"Oh my God! It's so pretty, I'm going to die!!"

     This tree has been in our family for 14 years now. However there are a few salt dough ornaments hanging on there that my mom made when she was pregnant with me, which would make them about 20 years old.

Mom's Salt Dough "Candy Cane" Ornament

"Angel" Ornament I gave to my mom as a
gift when I was in elementary school. 

"Rhett and Scarlett on the Staircase"
 from Gone with the Wind.
We got this in 2003. 

"Scarlett" from Gone with the Wind.
We have had this since 1997.

And this is another Alaska themed ornament.

This is one of out Alaska themed ornaments.

      I remember the first year we moved to Alaska. It was right before Christmas, and we lived in the transition housing on Elmendorf Airforce Base. My parents didn't have enough money to get a Christmas tree that year, because of the cost of the move. So instead my mom had bought a big piece of green paper and cut it into the shape of a Christmas Tree. Then we cut circles out of colorful card stock paper and taped them to the paper tree. That was our first Christmas in Alaska. The next year we lived in our own house in Wasilla. That's when got the tree pictured above, and we've had it ever since. So what is your tree like? Do you have a fake one or do you get a real tree to put up every year? Comment below! 
Merry Christmas from my house to yours!Love Scarlett <3   

Just Keep Giving! Just Keep Giving! What Do We Do? WE GIVE!

Wishing You and Yours A Very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

     I love this time a year. Always have and probably always will. I love giving more than receiving. The only time I'm ever disappointed is when I don't have a lot to give. In the past I've never been able to send Christmas Greeting cards to anyone else, because I had no way to get to the post office to have the cards stamped and mailed. This year I have a car (all thanks to my mom and Nana for helping me sign for one in August), so now I can actually go to the post office and mail stuff to all of my favorite people! I have actually been working on cards and letters for everyone. So I'm really excited to finally be able to send stuff to family, since I've never been able to in the past. I've always really appreciated getting cards and letters from family, so I'm really happy to be returning the love this year!

     Yesterday we finally started putting up the Christmas Tree! I was really happy, because last year we didn't put it up which made me sad. Hopefully we will be done decorating it tomorrow. 

     This year will be our first Christmas with Brayden. Yay!!! I'm still trying to figure out what I should get him for Christmas. New baby toys perhaps? Some teething rings? It doesn't really matter. I was even thinking about getting him some big plastic cooking spoons that he can grab and play with. As for presents for everyone else, I have been researching some DIY projects that would make neat gifts since I don't have as much money to spend this year. I hand wrote some letters with little doodles on them for my little cousins that live in the lower 48. I'm loom knitting scarves for a few people. I'm trying to figure out what to do for Brandon this Christmas. I don't know if I should make him something, or maybe give him a little love note asking him out on a date. Perhaps both? I don't know what to give my parents, and I'll probably do a DIY project for my brother. Lastly, if I had more money I would have liked to make a donation to Toys For Tots, but this year I am going to just donate some of my old clothes to Salvation Army. What do you plan on giving this holiday season? Comment below! Big hugs from this mommy to you! 

Merry Christmas! 

Scarlett :)

     

Stay Calm and Just BLOG!

Good Morning!

Or evening for those of you who are night owls (like me). 

     So I have no idea what I should talk about right now. It's not that I have nothing to talk about, just that there are so many things going through my head lately, that it's hard to focus on just one thing. I have to admit... I have been having a hard time lately. With almost EVERYTHING. I knew being a mommy would be hard, and even though I have been trying to keep up with all things that have been happening around me, it can be very difficult at times. My problem is, is that things have been overwhelming me all the time for the past few weeks. What's worse, is that when I try to take break for even a day or two, more things keep piling up and up and UP (quite literally in the case of my laundry). 

     Then I feel guilty, because while I'm typing this, I think of all the hard working, single women out there, who are taking care of their children all on their own. Let me just say that those are the women I have the utmost respect for. My mom for example took care of my brother and I for a few years all by herself, before she married my step dad two years ago. To this day she has cared for me, and if it weren't for her,

I probably would be living with my son in low-income housing. So a big shout out to all the single moms out there who are working hard! 

     Anyways, I figured that writing in my blog might help me get out of the slump I've been feeling. The stress has been starting to affect my physical health as well. I tend to carry a lot of stress in my shoulders, and as of late, I have started to experience more muscular knots in my neck and shoulders from stress, holding Brayden, working, and carrying other things like the diaper bag and my Medela "Pump in Style" bag/ purse. Have any of you other mommies had or have problems with this? I'm planning on scheduling a doctors appointment to see what therapy they might recommend. My shoulders and neck have gotten so bad to the point where I'm starting to get frequent headaches, plus shooting pains down my arms. So any advice, or home remedies for relaxation, or even your loving prayers would be welcome.

     Another thing that has been on my mind. Lack of mula! It's about 2 am right now, where I'm at. Which of course would make today the 15th of this month. The dreaded day when I have to make payments for my car, credit card, and personal loan. That's $298 for the car + a minimum of $15 for my credit card payment + $68 for the personal loan. I only have $415 in my bank account right now. Which means after I finish paying my bills today, I'll only have $34 in my bank account until my next pay check which is next Friday. I bet a lot of you can relate to how I feel about money right now. Don't you just wish you were a little kid?? I remember when I was little and didn't even know what a dollar bill was! I have a little bit of cash to get me through the week, but I am hoping that I won't need to use it (I'm trying to save my cash tips for a trip to see my family in California next year). 

Enough of my babbling though, have a SUPER awesome Friday!

With lots of nerdy love,

Scarlett

My Art Class Critique Paper

  Hi Everyone!

     I just thought I would share the the paper I wrote this week for my art class, just to see what people thought, or if they had different opinions. I'll post a picture copy of the art work I critiqued. Please do not plagiarize my paper! I am posting it so that others can share their opinions with me, and discuss the painting. Thank you. Enjoy! :)

Painting:ANGELICA KAUFFMAN, Cornelia Pointing to Her Children as Her Treasures, 1785.

Oil on canvas, 40″ × 50″. Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, Richmond, Virginia.                                               

Shari Lazar

Professor Melodie Mackey

Art V160

28 October 2013

Art Critique

     Cornelia Pointing to Her Children as Treasure, by Angelica Kauffman, is beautiful and enlightening. This painting was created by Angelica Kauffman in the year 1785 (Lewis 346). I am assuming that this painting was created in Rome, Italy, because our text The Power of Art by Richard Lewis and Susan I. Lewis, states that Angelica eventually settled there (Lewis 346). This piece of art is rectangular, measuring 40” by 50” according to illustration 16-4 (Lewis 346).

     Cornelia Pointing to her Children as Treasures was born from neoclassicism. It conforms to neoclassicism because of its simplicity, modesty, and ability to teach a moral lesson to the viewer. It visualizes a widowed mother, Cornelia, showing her friend that she values her children more than anything else.

     The medium used for this work is oil paint on canvas. It uses warm realistic colors, which are muted by black and grey shading. Light is used to illuminate the room that the characters stand in, and shadow is used in places where light cannot touch. There is play between the two, because the light that the characters block, casts a shadow in the direction the light would be shining. I can tell that the work is balanced, because of the simplicity of the painting. If it were unbalanced, it would be harder to focus on the story that Angelica Kauffman was trying to tell. When I look at this painting, my attention isn’t drawn to a single spot. I look at the painting in its entirety so that I can understand the story it tells. It does however suggest movement. For example, Cornelia points to her children to show her friend what means most to her. In my own opinion I would say that it is organic for its naturalistic features. Angelica Kauffman used linear perspective in this work. This is because forms that seem closer appear larger than those meant to be farther from the viewer. Although this is a painting, and is only two dimensional, Angelica used line, color, and form to give Cornelia Pointing to her Children as Treasures some depth. All of these elements are configured in an asymmetrical balance to add visual weights.

     When I saw and read about this piece, I literally could feel the maternal love that the painting expresses, and it reminded me of how much I love my son, Brayden, and how special he is to me. I think it made me feel this way, because you can see the character of Cornelia surrounded by her three children. She even holds her daughter’s hand while explaining to the other woman how much her children mean to her. I think that Cornelia Pointing to her Children as Treasures is a success as an artwork, because the artist Angelica Kauffman was experienced with the neoclassical style of painting. As I said before, it adheres to the rules of neoclassical art, because of it meets the goal of teaching a moral lesson, and it uses clear line, color, and form.